Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Contains the details about white-listed characters.
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Steelpoint
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Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Steelpoint » 14 Aug 2017, 11:10

Byond ID: Steelpoint

Marine Name:
Alan Bentway

Name of the character you want whitelisted: Kwei Ikthya-de (Sly Umbra)

Are you familiar with the Predator Code Of Honor?
I am.

Character background:
► Show Spoiler
How do you intend to play your predator? My playstyle would be somewhat simple but also relatively lore accurate, after establishing some form of fall back location I would begin to scour the battlezone in an attempt to locate and begin tracking prey that is worth my time. I would only hunt the faction that is currently in the position of strength, I have no interest in hunting the losing side. If the stronger side is in doubt, I would observe and wait to see which side gains the advantage. In terms of prey to hunt, I would just as wantingly engaging a group of worthy prey as I would a singular prey. The greater the risk, the greater the glory! But the risk must be tempered, and realistic.

----

Because Xenomorphs are a highly dangerous foe who are linked to a homogeneous hivemind, I would simply scout their exterior lines and attempt to find either individual or groups of xenomorphs that would be worthy prey to hunt, I would not expend much effort in probing the xenomorphs such as from roaring, simply because they are not as affected by these tactics. I would never engage in any form of alliance with the Xenomorphs outside of the coincidental act of hunting their enemy, the Humans. If the hive is destined to die, then the strain was impure.

Xenomorphs would be my preferred faction to hunt.

----

Humans are a varied species, many are weak and frail, but some are strong and determined. Probing tactics can prove very effective on Humans, culling the weak and moronic into hiding whereas provoking the strong or foolhardy into honorable engagement, probing tactics would involve acts such as observing from a distance, engaging in 'near hit' attacks, and otherwise aggravating the Humans in an attempt to find worthy prey. Groups of Humans are a major threat, but tactics can be employed to thin the herd, traps, near hits, false leads and similar can serve to divide a group of humans. However brute force can also be a effective tool, and a blind charge into a group of worthy Humans can cause chaos and disorganization. Risky, but again, the greater the risk the greater the glory.

Individual Humans who have proven to be of strong stock, either by honorably engaging me in combat AND proving to be of good fighting form, or those who have performed extraordinarily well in surviving AND fighting the Xenomorphs against all odds, may be worth in assisting them in their survival (Would be rare act, person must be really on par with a Predator to be worthy of such a honor). These 'alliances' would only extend so long as the Human continues to prove their strength in their desire to survive, and the alliance would terminate once either the Human loses the will to survive, they desire to fight on by themselves (which may warrant a 'gift' to be offered to them) or they reach safety. Outside of extraordinary circumstances I would not engage in any deeper alliance with the Humans. The Human Soldiers are prey to hunt, not equals, unless proven otherwise...

(Minor note, if I do Self Destruct I would likely set up a macro to warn players I am about to do so (Unknown begins manipulating their wrist mounted controller! It begins to beep meanincingly!), unless I am literally surrounded by ten xenomorphs I would like to warn people I am about to explode)

Why should we whitelist you?
I'm not one to toot my own horn, but I believe I have what it takes to hold myself to a higher standard of roleplay, in addition I have proven to be reliable in uncommon events to act to a higher standard, from being a UPP commanders body guard to a humble CLF foot soldier trying to survive a three way war.

I admit I sometimes get distraught in dead chat, but dead chat is intended as a salt mine.

As a Predator I would not seek ultimate victory and to crush all, my aim would be to engage in meaningful and enjoyable gameplay, not unfairly murdering someone for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Have you been banned from CM in the last month for any reason?

No.

Are you currently banned from any other servers and if so, why?
No.

Do you understand that any player - donor or otherwise - can have their whitelist status revoked should they break our rules or disobey the Predator Code of Honor?
I understand, and would expect it.
This is war, survival is your responsibility.

Alan Bentway: Marine
Kwei Ikthya-de: Predator

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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Daman453 » 14 Aug 2017, 13:25

+1 even if I never see you in game, the app is solid and I know I can trust you to be a good pred.
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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Mook476 » 14 Aug 2017, 14:26

Your application is fucking amazing imo. I love the story, and I think your play style is pretty good. +1
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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by shyshadow » 14 Aug 2017, 21:02

*Cracks Neck* Okay, so I don't want to be a Bolter "Ramsey" but.....there's a bit many grammar mistakes....I mean come on man, you didn't at least re-read it?
Steelpoint wrote: After a long delay, the xenomorphs returned and began to escort him out of the room. Kwei sprung his trap, using all his bodily strength he pushed the xenomorph in front of him out of the briefing chamber
Like..... "briefing" my man...
Anyway, the story was lengthy. That's it. It was "okay" in most regards, giving very little personality to your hunter. You're an average hunter, that's fine but no other will or want other then just wanting honor? Alright, okay. Moving on, okay so you like to use a lot of big'ol shpancy words. That's okay, I get looking smart is a good thing, but what about people like me? I had to google 2 words, you know how stupid I feel now? Very.'
Alright let's get into the MEAT, your backstory in most regards was an okay story. It had a start, middle and an end. Something I find very annoying is how you do very little actual development for your character, he's a standard predator with very little interesting about him. I get not every predator is suppose to be a special snowflake, but something that drags him down. Is how pathetic he is, while I understand he's a Young Blood, he is a Yautja. The Biological superiority from a human is like 200% more badass, considering he is still alive after the explosion he probably barely got affected by it physically. Predators are nearly bulks when it comes to pain, considering all Yautja train relentlessly I'm more then sure they've managed to grown tolerance and yet your predator just flops over. Even if he couldn't get up, you put it
Steelpoint wrote:Kwei tried to activate his gauntlets self destruct system, but the fall from earlier, and the recent explosion, had damaged his wrist computer beyond repair, leaving him utterly at the mercy of the xenomorphs as they began to drag him away.
If he had thought that was his fate, he would've just killed himself with his wrist-blade. A Predator becoming an abomination is like ultimate dishonor, if he wished to preserve it he could've done it that way. While it's less honorable it's more honorable then becoming an abomination.

Also, if there's no queen Xenomorphs kill everything. There's no reason to capture your predator, considering there was no Queen. You would've died of starvation and I'm sure Xenomorphs know this and yet they still capture you? Another thing that BUGS me, is how you refer to the Xenomorphs as XENOS, my boy! This is a Predator Whitelist Application! That word doesn't exist in the backstory! It's serpents, it's always serpents while I get diction is something that isn't that important. It's better to use because it makes you look like you know what you're talking about.

Also, why are there 11 Predators going out on a hunt? Like no-where should that be practiced, like why? How are 11 Predators suppose to stealthy and skillfully going to hunt when there's like a fucking herd of them? Everything just doesn't make that much sense. I can't explain under any circumstance as to why all of this shit happens. Everything feels like an unrealistic mess.
Mook476 wrote:Your application is fucking amazing imo. I love the story, and I think your play style is pretty good. +1
In my opinion, this is not an amazing application. It's a weird mess of an attempt. While I'm bashing on your application. I'm bashing on your knowledge on lore and how I can trust you with this role.
-1 unless you can elaborate on all of these questions.
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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Steelpoint » 14 Aug 2017, 21:31

The predators are unblooded on their first real hunt, it's not uncommon for a large group of unblooded to be sent on a hunt with a senior predator as a group leader. I know this because the first, and one of the few, AvP novels I ever read featured a large group of Predator unblooded on a sort of initiation hunt. Yes, for the most part Predators hunt either alone or in small groups. But Predators still in training are the exception to this rule, that's the point I tried to make.

Also I imagine being near the centre point of a plasmacaster explosion would wind a relatively younger Predator with minimal, and low quality, armour.

I also admit my story is a bit off in places, I realised my story was becoming way too long so I had to trim it down, I likely missed some inconsistent lines in the process.

On the xeno's behavior, this is actually based off of another novel/comic where a xeno hive does something similar to a group of captured Humans due to them having no Queen, thus they resort to drastic measures to attempt to circumvent this.
This is war, survival is your responsibility.

Alan Bentway: Marine
Kwei Ikthya-de: Predator

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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Sailor Dave » 14 Aug 2017, 23:40

Young predators definitely do, in some cases, hunt in large groups. This can be seen in the comic AvP: Blood Time, as one example. I can also vouch with Steelpoint about the comic involving a Queen-less hive taking strange and drastic measures to contain a group of humans, though I can't remember the name of it.

Touching on a related note, I do have something I'd like to comment on in regards to the responses I've seen to several applications, practically all of them, including this one. It's true that the lore has been spotty in some of these apps, but I've seen many of these people make an earnest attempt to learn the lore, only to get meticulously picked apart over every single detail, expected to be an absolute expert, sometimes very needlessly aggressively in my opinion (coughboltercough.)

They don't always get things picture-perfect, but that's not something that can be expected from such a vague and, as many of us know, VERY inconsistent knowledge base to work from in regards to the different movies, comics, and novels. There is merit in pointing out flaws, and I'm not saying to put on the kiddie gloves, but I think everyone should tone down their more aggressive responses and be more constructive and considerate to the effort invested.
The grammar and spelling issues are annoying, but let me tell you: in the older accepted applications, there are ones that are much worse than any I've seen recently, barring the usual first post attempts. I definitely agree that anyone who makes an app should run their app through a spell-checker at the very least, but I know for a fact that some of the accepted predators I've seen commenting on these have even worse grammar than the applicants themselves. If you're going to judge, make an actual effort to improve your OWN grammar and spelling before you slight someone else for it.

Very, VERY rarely does any of the backstory or even the greater predator lore in general come into play in-game; I think that, as long as an applicant demonstrates an earnest attempt to learn the lore and portray an interesting story, putting a very reasonable amount of effort into the application, as I think Steelpoint has done here - as well as having a solid community presence - they're already in a very good place. I'd like to give Steelpoint a +1 for the very clear effort I see here.
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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Boltersam » 15 Aug 2017, 02:42

The leader of unblooded groups will always be an Elder or Elite, because they're in charge of training them.

EDIT: (As usual, I'll get to this on Friday.)
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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Steelpoint » 15 Aug 2017, 02:47

Not necessarily, some times it can be a blooded Predator.

Though considering the lore its honestly more up to personal interpretation than anything else.
This is war, survival is your responsibility.

Alan Bentway: Marine
Kwei Ikthya-de: Predator

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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Nick123q23 » 15 Aug 2017, 18:05

I'll be honest, your application wasn't sticking out very well, but when I forced myself to look at it anyway, I found a story that was interesting, kept me reading, and even taught me something new about the xenomorphs.

People are familiar with you in the community and you seem to be a respectable fellow. Kwei Ikthya-de gets my support. +1

I especially like your idea of a self destruct warning macro. I may have to use that myself!
Player of faceless xenomorphs of the species XX121, Miranda 'Mira' Laporte, Daniel Gryphon, Kia and Akl'iiya Quatza-rij
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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by shyshadow » 17 Aug 2017, 03:14

Steelpoint wrote:-snip-
Okay, so I learned this recently but apparently becoming Blooded is different then actually hunting. While I feel I'm going TOO Lore hard on this critique, apparently Young Bloods actually hunt things other then serpents as their first hunt (They hunt humans and other creatures before becoming blooded). I know that predators hunt in small groups but why would your clan just adopt this instance for no reason? Maybe it's just one of those clan's tradition just because it can happen, doesn't it mean it should happen. While I get originality is a thing, this isn't really "original" considering it's just copy and pasting what you read in a book. It's not adopting and remixing the concept.

Also, to rebuttal your "Winding of a Young Predator" As you know Predators can be pretty fucking old, so he'd probably be like what? 40? 50? Years old I would have to guess, also the "low-quality" armor I'm just using common sense here but I'm pretty sure they have armor for serpents and not for serpents not really sure why they would give them a piece of tin for armor. I'm pretty sure the armor isn't easy to make, and I'm pretty sure it's more difficult to create the acid resistant one. Though it's not set in stone sooo. I'm pretty sure they're both in similar status of quality.

While I now understand that this can happen, it really is dull and unoriginal like I get it. You put in your story, but for what actual reason? So your character can have a struggle and not die? Also why would your clan knowingly hunt weaker serpents? I thought this was a test of strength and wits, while obviously they're still serpents they're not a fair trial. I mean they probably would've just done a hive cleansing of that place long ago. Then probably get a new hunting grounds, if you didn't know. Sometimes, predators actually infect colonies of humans so that they can have a hunt or a hunting ground. They can have stasis pods for huggers or "Royal" huggers. They've done this for as long as they've existed probably...they have the technology to just get another hive. It doesn't make actual logical sense, there are a lot of what ifs and whys. Even if you did make it shorter, it doesn't excuse the problems that I'm faced with.

Also what in the actual fuck kind of measure can Xenomorphs adopt to keep on living when they have no damn Queen? They don't NEED a Queen to live but they need her to reproduce. So my question is, what the hell are they going to do to circumvent the inevitability of the people they CAPTURE from STARVING?! Xenomorphs are fucking INTELLIGENT, they learn quickly and are very adaptable but what are they going to GAIN from capturing them? Are they going to just get a Face Hugger? Literally you just say they resort to a similar fashion. What is exactly are they doing different besides just capturing prey!? In no way shape or form is this expanded upon! You can't throw out this kind of stuff and except me to know what you're talking about! They can do this but it makes no sense, I haven't read the novel nor do I have the time to do so but I'd sure hope that the Queenless hive in the novel wasn't "that" old because if it was, they wouldn't care about capturing prey because that threatens the future existence of the hive currently!
Your response is half-baked! I need more man!
Sailor Dave wrote:-snip-
Okay, so while I get where you're coming from being rash, rude, diminishing is something that can get pretty annoying. I get your point of view of "Nit Picking Lore is little scummy", I get that. That's not the only thing wrong with this application, as stated above. It genuinely lacks originality, it has effort, it has a pretty good grasp on lore, it has almost every single thing that can be good. The problem is that it's executed poorly, instead of having a strong and firm grasp on the lore without being too creative. He instead uses a lot of concepts gathered from comic books/novels, the problem with that is that they're added with little to no actual reason except for the fucks of it. Due to Steelpoint's want to be "creative" in those regards, he attempts to make a homerun but when he hits it, it only makes it to the center fielder. I hope you understand my analogy, seriously I hope. While those aren't inherently bad, it's basically a Deus-Ex Machina so that he can almost die but because it's a possibility. It becomes the destiny of his predator because for whatever reason.

He also fails in regards to fucking PERSONALITY, his character is literally more standard then your standard marine! Another thing, is his name has like...no correlation to the story. Kinda figured I'd throw that out there. It feels so uninspired, like a man that works for 9:00-5:-00. You don't have to be a special snowflake, in no way do I want to say no standard predators. It's just, your character has no drive, no spirit, no personality. Maybe your Predator accepting defeat is a personality trait, but eh.
I've made an entire analysis of this application, in most cases. Except the hunting style. Which is so damn standard I can feel myself becoming Standard Stanley.

My opinion still stands -1.
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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Steelpoint » 17 Aug 2017, 03:25

Firstly I intentionally left it vague as to what the Predators were originally intending to hunt, my backstory mentioned the Xenomorph hive was undetected so its all up to interpretation if the hunting party were there to hunt xenos or to hunt a dangerous, but non-xeno, fauna.

Its implied in the lore that low ranking Predators typically get sub-standard gear in comparison to the more venerable and older Predators, hence why I reference the weaker armor and the fact their gear has no acid resistance.

I did leave out what the Xenos intended to do to the Predator but that was more my fault for realising I was writing too much, if I had expanded upon it the story would've dragged on for longer so I cut it out.

In the comic/novel I am referencing the Xenomorphs will actually feed the captured Humans, usually its Human flesh they are feeding them but I digress.

I have to ask, how does someone make a unique play style for a Antagonist role that they have NEVER played before, and have no chance of even understanding how the role functions until they play it? Glancing at a Predator as an observer does little to show you how that role plays, I can only claim how I'll play the role based on unreliable feedback from other players and from what I see, not from what I experience. My play style desc is more what I aspire to do if I am accepted.
This is war, survival is your responsibility.

Alan Bentway: Marine
Kwei Ikthya-de: Predator

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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by shyshadow » 17 Aug 2017, 21:46

You don't have to hunt as a playstyle. Your "Way of hunting" is more of how you intend to interact with players and shit.
Also, hunting is not the only interactions you have with characters. Your playstyle is a bland bagel. Your character, undeveloped, apparently predators can't locate a hive because apparently it's hidden. Even though they are so technologically advanced, they can't see a giant hive. Even though they've used this hunting ground more then enough times. I just can't for some reason find empathy for you. I'm usually a lot more fair and less like well....this. Anyway. I still gotta go with -1..
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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Steelpoint » 18 Aug 2017, 09:29

Its not an uncommon trope in the universe for Predators to sometimes miss things like Xeno hives, other Predator clans or Humans colonies. Its not a stretch to think that the Predators missed a hidden hive when they had little reason to suspect there was a hive there to begin with.

Nonetheless I'll take your criticism to heart, if I am asked to redo a app again in the future, I'll try and expand the story to give more of an insight into the mind of my Predator character. Which I admit is not hugely explored sans a few mentions of his attitudes and how he grew psychologically as a result of his experience.
This is war, survival is your responsibility.

Alan Bentway: Marine
Kwei Ikthya-de: Predator

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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Boltersam » 19 Aug 2017, 05:35

The backstory's not particularly good. It's at a respectable length, and I didn't notice any outstanding grammar issues, but the story itself is extremely flawed. We don't actually get to know your character. The most I could tell you about him is he prefers wristblades. For some reason a plasmacaster was included in a bunch of weapons intended for Youngbloods to use, which really shouldn't happen, and while you pointed out that mistake by having that Youngblood being completely incompetent with it, it really shouldn't have been there in the first place, considering it's usually only granted after they become Blooded, and it's not a particularly honourable weapon to use. Next, instead of being killed on the spot so that he didn't further threaten them, the Xenos, these same Xenos with no Queen, no way to actually reproduce and use him to create a predalien Queen to continue the hive, decide to capture him. This is a huge plot hole. Your predator should be dead. Furthermore, the weakened, decaying Xenos, don't leave a maximum security swarm of guards constantly around the strong, healthy, murderous predator. I'm not going to believe the second he shoved the Xeno in front of him, he didn't immediately get swarmed by a dozen other Xenos. He then wrestles the lone, weakened Xeno with GLISTENING MUSCLES and a Youngblood wristblade's singular blade as a makeshift shank.

Tl;dr The story doesn't accomplish anything, and it's incredibly flawed. You could have done far better here.


The playstyle is eh. When you get rid of all the flavour that doesn't actually change anything about how you'll play, you get the traditional "Hunt stronger side, find prey, hunt prey."
This is in no way a bad thing, but it isn't innovative. Were the backstory actually good, I'd have overlooked this, but both the backstory and playstyle don't seem to have much effort put into them.

The macro to warn players about the self destruct is good initiative, though. Personally, I believe the rather loud beeping and the fact that you're tacklespamming a predator, or heavily wounded one, should be enough, but it's good thinking to have the reminder ready to use.


The reason to whitelist you hasn't much bearing on the overall quality of the app, but I will say that you have been involved in a lot of events, and are generally regarded as a good person to take part in one, which does speak for you. However, the rest of the app has failed to meet standards.

-1.
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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Steelpoint » 19 Aug 2017, 06:05

I do admit that I may have not sufficiently given a lot of detail to the characterization of the Predator, however I contest your claim that Young Bloods are disallowed usage of Plasmacasters. The issue of Young Bloods and Plasmacaster usage is extremely inconsistent, some lore pieces claim they cannot use it, but other lore pieces however claim they are allowed to use it. Hell some lore pieces allow Young Bloods to use military grade equipment in permitting circumstances.

I've already explained why the Xenomorphs are behaving in an uncharacteristic manner, it follows a logical order that has precedent within the universe, and there are methods, long term though, of a Queenless hive to find a way to continue to grow a hive.

The playstyle, again, I'll concede is not a standout playstyle, but this returns to my point in that its hard to proclaim a solid playstyle when you have had no first hand experience with a particular role. The best I can say is I would have a preference for melee weapons outside of fighting dishonourable prey, but that is consistent with the vast majority of Predators in the lore.
This is war, survival is your responsibility.

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Kwei Ikthya-de: Predator

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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Boltersam » 19 Aug 2017, 06:11

The Xenos can't afford to go long term. A perfectly healthy and strong Predator is not something they can contain long enough to do whatever method you suggest they have, and they should know this. You may contest my claim and say it's extremely inconsistent, but it's not going to stop the point that a green as grass youngblood (This is their first hunt, after all) should not have their hands on high explosives. A relatively experienced youngblood who's near doing his proving trials to become Blooded? Sure, that's believable. It also gives them a huge advantage over the others, who are getting stuff like wristblades. The plasmacaster should not have been there.

Regarding the playstyle. You need to put that stuff in the playstyle while you're writing it, not come up with it afterwards and just slap it on in a separate post to try make the playstyle have more depth.
Anything you can do, I can do better, sooner or later I'm greater than you.

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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Nightwolf901 » 30 Aug 2017, 02:01

TBH I like this man ingame. Hes fun and enjoyably funny to RP with. Hes even taken command as a Spec when there was no one higher. Storys not to horrible and like everything We can't come up with completely new things when its been fleshed out. +1 from Pinko Cals
LOOC Nyxia 'Fifty' Cals "I swear to god if I haven't broken a bone to this moment. I need to head back to get my replacement Titanium plates."
LOOC John '???' Baker? "Better get running"


Sometimes, Snowflakes are not needed, but this one keeps pushing the fact.

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Re: Kwei Ikthya-de - Second Attempt

Post by Feweh » 04 Sep 2017, 23:47

Accepted

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